Around this time last week, the man I love and have spent the last ten years of my life loving loyally, told me he wasn't happy- the following evening he walked out of my life for good.
So as I ponder whether to change the name of my blog to 'Political Single-Parent', life, it appears goes on- just not for me.
I will spare you the gory details of my emotional rollercoaster so far and for those of you who have visited, called and texted I say both thank you and sorry.
I'm not sure where recent events leave my foray into the blogospehere as I can't imagine giving a shit about anything again, let alone getting involved and then writing about it. I look at the person I was and see the intrinsic part the non-political parent played in who I was and what I did, and I can't imagine ever being 'me' again without him.
I feel so far removed from the woman in the Scottish Labour kagoule door knocking in Springburn last week, I can't really see a way back. I have the challenge of raising 3 children alone to face- at a point in my life when straightening my hair seems futile and too much of an effort.
I have had to hand over all my local political (with a small 'p') work to others and I don't see me being confident or assertive enough to ever take those roles back. I haven't read a newspaper all week and now wonder why I ever thought the kinds of things I did were important.
My answering machine has messages on it from locals defending me after an attack in the local paper- a situation I knew nothing about and couldn't care less about.
For a woman that used to assess many situations in terms of political capital and votes gained when the time came, I am perhaps just getting a glimpse of real life instead of playing the game and maybe it's no less than I deserve?
Besides I have discovered that I am not very resilient and really really don't handle rejection well so perhaps standing as Labour candidate in North East Fife (12500 Lib-Dem majority) is the last thing my battered self-esteem needs..........