Just a quick blog to say, I don’t have much to say! I have had a hard day, full of mental unhealthiness and queries met with unacceptable (to me) answers form my team.
Again, I’ve had enough, I want to be better and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I would do anything to feel better or at least have some idea of when I can expect to start feeling better. I’m usually in bed by now but delaying as I can’t bear the thought of going to sleep only to wake up to the same crap tomorrow.
On the advice of my fantastic (though today again, frustratingly unarmed with a magic wand) CPN I have made a list of my current stressors- there are 10 of them that I can think of and it’s no wonder I’m having a bad day really. I rated them all out of 100 (even somewhat geekily made a pie-chart) and not one of them scores under 40/100.
The problem is what do I do now? I want to hand the list (and the pie-chart if they think it will help) over to someone else and say “here this is what’s wrong, fix it” but I can’t.
Some of the stresses will fix themselves over time but some of them will take some effort from me and the big one “how long will it take me to get better? (90/100)” cannot be answered until it’s happened.
So I’m having an angry day, a stressful, angry, horrible day.