So I saw my psychiatrist yesterday; it was a brief encounter but enough was said to again leave me with more questions than answers.
Those of you who had read my previous posts will know I intended to ask what my diagnosis(es) is(are)- well I did.
So I have a mood disorder (aka Bipolar disorder) which I knew and was obvious but the words “dissociative” and “personality” were also touted. The entire consultation took around 15 minutes so it was left up to Dr’s Google and Wikipedia to fill in the blanks.
So I came home and looked it up and I found me here.
On one hand everything is clear and everything is a mess again. I'm literate and have access to the internet so It’s no surprise but it is a shock.
I am a keen subscriber to the "my illness doesn't define my personality" school of thought, but I find it harder to argue with this one.
I’ve thought long and hard over whether to publish this post or not but my only reasons for not doing so are shame and embarrassment so publish it I will. I stopped stigmatising myself a long time ago.
Given the way the news was delivered I figure anyone else with a similar diagnosis will be desperate to find kindred spirits and if I can help one person feel less alone then it's a job well done.
Yesterday was like being told “yes your leg is broken which you know but you also have a bit of cancer and toothache” and I went away thinking “did she say cancer?!”
I came away without so much as a pamphlet to read so Amazon are delighted to have me back and I eagerly await the postman when he comes to deliver my latest addition to my ever-growing mental health library.