It’s Monday and it’s 10am, I have taken my youngest child to nursery, seen the big kids off to school, done all my housework and now I have nothing to do.
I’m not ready to do any of the things I used to do so what on earth can I put in their place to stop my days being so meaningless and long. My concentration span allowed me to skim one of the local papers but that was pushing it.
My days have no structure and no meaning aside form just making it through to the end of each one.
I don’t feel at all creative at the moment and am finding my newest hobby, crochet too difficult a skill to learn. (Unless anyone is after a long pink chain of varying tensions?!)
I’m not the kind of person who enjoys sitting around doing nothing, I crave structure and routine. I have tried a number of self-imposed routines lately but they all seem so banal and trivial and feel more like I’m just hanging around waiting to recover. I want to actively recover.
So I don’t know what to do today but I am grateful at least that I want to do something- at the end of last week I didn’t want to do anything other than put a stop to the whole horrific merry-go-round that is mental ill health.