It’s Friday and the end of the first week for a long time where I haven’t seen any medical professionals at all.
There was a time not so long ago where this was the norm for me, I didn’t do illness and therefore didn’t do doctors either.
I’ve done ok this week without medical intervention, I’ve survived, faced my fair share of challenges and come through it all a year older but still in one piece. It wasn’t my choice to ‘fly solo’, it’s just the way things turned out but I’m glad I did- as an indicator for where I am in terms of recovery it’s been a very useful exercise.
So where am I? Well I’m 35, stable-ish, completely dependant on both non-benzodiazepines and benzodiazepines to sleep, over-active, unable to concentrate on much for any length of time, restless and agitated. But I can deal with day hospital disasters, dying hamsters, school visits, sick children and credit card balance transfers.
I am better than I was.
I owe a lot to one particular friend who has visited daily and stayed in frequent contact, without her support this week would’ve been a lot more difficult, friends like that are few and far between and I know I’m lucky to have her.
On Monday I’m scheduled to see my wonderful GP, my (adjective yet to be decided) psychiatrist and my fantastic CPN, they’ll all want a slightly different account of how the last week has been and they’ll all care about different aspects but I only have one story so it’ll be up to them to take out of it what they need and tell me what they plan to do to make sure all the coming weeks are as successful.